While we’re on a Max Rubin roll, let’s cross over to the lighter side of things and look at some gambling quotes this Hall of Famer has been attributed to. Actually, he says that they are “possible” originals. That is, he’ll gladly admit that these quotes are of his own conception – until someone else tells him the opposite. Enjoy!

Casino bosses aren’t the experts. They’re the umpires.

Casinos like to call it gaming. But you ain’t gaming. You’re gambling.

Everyone’s a high roller in his own mind. We all bet to the level that makes us tingle.

Gamblers go from being atheists to believers in a single session.

Gambling’s like sex. It exposes everyone for who they really are and most of the time it ain’t pretty.

I talk to God and make deals with him every time I gamble. Otherwise, I leave him alone.

I’ve never heard about anybody committing suicide with a pocket full of chips.

If you can’t win with class, you’re a loser no matter how many chips you have.

If you’re lucky enough to be playing blackjack in America, you’re lucky enough.

If you’re not excited when you win, why bother?

If you’re not obsessive, there’s no point in being a professional gambler.

It takes a lot of skill to hide your talent.

It’s easy to play smart. Just think about what you’d normally do and then do the opposite. (Max’s advice to a pit boss playing in the World Series of Blackjack).

No matter how your luck’s running, it can always get worse.

Secretly, we all hate the guy who won the lottery when we didn’t. Especially when he doesn’t quit his job.

Smart guys play fair. Dumb guys cheat.

Sometime the cards unfold just like you’ve planned. And boy, are you smart.

The games we play define who we are.

The guy you’ve gotta watch is the guy who doesn’t trust anyone.

The house edge is kinda like a seat rental, you just don’t know what it’s going to cost when you sit down.

If I pray for an ace and get an ace, I sometimes think that my wishes had something to do with it.

We always blame the dealer unless we’re winning.

When you win, you almost expect to see your face on the billboards when you leave the casino. When you lose, you hope nobody knows who you are.

When you’re playing, everything around you takes on a new meaning. If they’re playing rap music and I’m winning, I want to hear more rap. And I hate rap.

You don’t see a lot of psychics listing their gambling wins when they file their taxes.

You want to know what it’s like to be schizophrenic? Start gambling. You’ll hear plenty of voices and the loudest will be the sneaky little hunches telling you to bet more.

If you don’t stay away from casinos, all you’ll ever do is have fun.

Your bankroll grows or shrinks in direct relations to the size of the your balls.

Most of the Tweezer Butts who run casinos these days live by the math and completely forget that there are people involved.

And my personal favorite:

Playing blackjack is the only thing I’ve ever done that made math fun.